There are many different things that influence us that contribute to who we eventually become. However, nothing can have the long-lasting effect both mentally and emotionally as much as a role model. In the past, anything negative coming from my role model would affect me, but as I grew, I embraced the good and bad.
My role model lacks the knowledge an average adult should know. She does not have her high school diploma. School was rough for her; she was bullied every day so she dropped out. She didn’t go to school and got pregnant at a young age with my older sister. She came from a rough background; living in her household was not easy. Based on her past and outcome, I learned not to stop anything because of someone else. The only person that can stop you is yourself. Since my mother lacks the knowledge of simple things, it makes her vulnerable to mistakes or being used.
As I matured, I’ve realized that my mother's poor decisions helped me understand life.
She is my role model and depends on certain people to get where she is. Instead of working for herself, my mom decided to work for others and eventually, it took a toll on her. She became so dependent on looking for a “get-rich scheme” that she forgot the true value of hard work. The people she trusted weren’t reliable. They had power over her wealth and the capability to give it or take it away. Money doesn’t bring happiness; it’s supposed to bring comfortability. She never had a steady income, causing her to live with no comfort since she depended on others and tried to find the easy way out to become successful. Her poor decision-making motivated me to make different decisions in order to live comfortably. I saw her struggle depending on others and not being her own boss. My mother influenced me not to work for anyone but myself.
On the positive side, my role model is an outspoken person. She has no problem with expressing how she feels, but the problem is how she does it. Her tone of voice or body language is taken as aggressive, making her unapproachable. My role model is bad at taking advice; she’ll think you're attacking her rather than helping her. This thought in her head isolates her from people that love her. She’ll get defensive and the regular conversation would turn into a huge argument. In life, I learned that the outspoken way my mother speaks is great, but how someone sends the message is important. Also, it’s important to be open to others’ advice: listen and learn.
It’s important to realize we live to learn. My mother and I do not have the most loving relationship, because of other factors, such as mental illnesses. However, the good I learn from my mom, I embrace. The bad I learn from my mom, I don’t repeat.